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bipolar

bipolar strikes again

so back in april i was feeling really good (maybe a bit TOO good) and made these ambitious plans to participate in the nanny goat 24-hour race as a walker. then much like what happened for the 9 trails 35 mile in november 2007, the high desert 50k in december 2007 and the avalon 50 […] Read More

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alien on a mission

from an old journal — i have no idea what was going on that day… i’m a human experiment. i want to see the purple winged elephants fly and dance because i am one of them. people think that i am a person, but i am an alien on a research mission on this pathetic […] Read More

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i’m still around…

hard to believe that moi, once running coach and ultrarunner extraordinaire, would be doing cartwheels at the thought of hitting 400 miles for the YEAR. the typical excuse, “life got in the way”, but the truth is: running has not been a priority for the past year and a half. and that is so because […] Read More

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water… please…

disorganized thinking

i am all over the place right now my bedroom is a mess the check engine light just came on and i need to tell glenn about it and i did not make that phone call but i made sure to wrap the handset and my note around it with mailing tape. my main coping […] Read More

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another sleepless night

Sleepless counting sheep

my body is so tired it feels like it doesn’t exist anymore. when i lie down it doesn’t matter what position i settle myself in. i feel like i am floating about my bedroom, i’m just thought. the thoughts don’t stop, but the body is calm. i cannot feel any of it nor can i […] Read More

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i’ve joined the ranks…

no denied

… of other millions of americans. i am now uninsured and ordering my meds from canada for less than one third the us price. and that’s including international shipping. also, my husband called about half a dozen insurance companies, but between his prior valve replacement surgery and my bipolar disorder we are considered “uninsurable”. ‘thank […] Read More

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bending sound

you know the feeling when you are listening to a killer song, and you’re totally immersed in it, eyes closed, head tilted back, and the sound touches your being in such a pleasurable way it almost hurts, and you soar to the heights of euphoria, and your body opens up in millions of different places, […] Read More

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