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steel rapture

it’s a subliminal state…
the bitterness of my tears
and the sweetness of the guitar chords
invoke pungent memories.
memories of long awaited moments
i have never experienced,
but that are yet to come.
each note in its unique beauty and simplicity
touches me deeply,
making me so clearly aware
of these feelings.
it’s piercing.
HE tortures me with each stroke of HIS hands…
hands carefully crafted by the gods…
so powerful, they uncover me
and expose my innermost self,
dark, unknown, beautiful.
it feels like drops of acid burning my face.
my whole body shakes as i delight in joy
and suffering.
what could compare to this…
how could i ever explain how i feel…
no single corner of my mind is left unexplored.
i am inside out, but no one can see.
no one sees what i have to offer.
my heart dwells on desire to be set free… now… now!
take me, take me whole…
if not completely, i would rather not be taken at all…

~natalia~
august 22nd, 2001


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