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runner’s voodoo

thanks to russ, aka runr53 i was able to ressuscitate my old ultimate direction! (see ‘am i the only one?’).


1 salty-sweaty runner
1 hydration pack with stuck zipper due to salty sweat
1 candle, red is best
1 snake (optional)


first dance around your hydration pack (optionally naked) while repeating unintelligible words for spur-of-the-moment-made-up voodoo song (whatever that sounds like). then rub the candle back and forth on the zipper, trying to open it (or close it, depending on how you left it since your last salty-sweaty run) after every few rubs. (if you choose to use the snake, use your creativity; i have no idea what to do with it). it will eventually work. when it does, light the candle and thank the running voodoo gods.

{ 12 comments… add one }
  • runr53 August 14, 2006, 4:35 pm

    You do have a certain knack for telling a story! Glad to be of assistance!

  • angie's pink fuzzy August 14, 2006, 7:19 pm


  • Jessica Deline August 14, 2006, 7:31 pm

    I also flood not “leak”. But hmmm… if this works – what dance and ritual can I do to fix a broken strap on my camelback? 🙂

  • turnip August 15, 2006, 1:43 am

    My camel back is routinely needing repairs and un-stuckedness due to the abuse it is given. Maybe I will try this method! (although I hope nakedness is truly optional!)
    Will having two psychotic cats in the room help?

  • robtherunner August 15, 2006, 4:37 am

    I’ll remember this method if I have any such future problems.

  • jeff August 15, 2006, 2:33 pm

    this is awesome! i’ll have to remember that for future salty, stuck zippers. i mean, you were a first hand witness to how much i leak during a run. people just don’t understand until they’ve seen the deluge first hand, lather and all!

  • ~gnatty~ August 15, 2006, 2:40 pm

    jessica, a broken strap on a camelbak is a very complicated matter. the snake may not be optional in this case, and you may need more materials, such as a dead frog whose mouth has been sewn shut, a dead chicken to be placed on a crossroads…

  • ~gnatty~ August 15, 2006, 2:41 pm

    turnip, you definitely have it going for you with the two psychotic cats. maybe you can arrange to help jessica with her broken camelbak…

  • ~gnatty~ August 15, 2006, 2:45 pm

    jeff is a phenomenon. when my husband saw our backbay run pictures, including one of jeff, post-run, he said ‘this guys sweats up a storm, huh?’ very impressive. i know it’s very healthy and a sign of high body efficiency to sweat a lot. no wonder the guy’s ‘marathon pace’ is 7 min/mi! 😉

  • Alice in Wonderbread August 15, 2006, 11:59 pm

    HAHA! I love it!!!

  • GuruParkash August 16, 2006, 6:26 pm

    The Snake preferably a rattler is to give you that extra burst of adrenalin you will need in order to force the damn zipper to either open, or break. What about tree sap? After one of my stupider timber bashing struggles I found my Ultimate direction zipper stuck shut from pine tree sap. I tried warm soapy water which may have helped a bit. Eventually It crystallized and I was able to force the zipper to work again. Love your accounts of madness.

  • Darrell August 17, 2006, 4:23 am

    very funny story.
    I can attest to Jeff’s leakage. You definitely don’t want to run right behind him unless you don’t mind getting wet.

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