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perfectionism: the paralyzing weakness

i have a confession to make: i’m a chronic perfectionist. i also suffer from the worst case of all-or-nothing personality.

these two character defects combined make for an extremely paralyzing combination: i won’t start a task when i know i don’t have time to finish it in one go. i also won’t start a task if i don’t think i can do it perfectly (as if there even were such thing, in the first place). if i’ve planned a 20-mile run, life gets in the way and don’t have the 4+ hours available for it anymore, but could still squeeze in 10 miles, i will do nothing instead.

why can’t i realize 10 miles is better than nothing? why can’t i realize making 3 or 4 of the 12 phone calls on my todo list is better than nothing? why can’t i realize that doing laundry and saving the folding for the next day is better than not doing it at all? why can’t i realize clipping my nails doesn’t have to entail clipping my few remaining toenails on the same day as well? and why then am i left sitting, staring at the blank wall, paralized and overwhelmed, uncapable of doing anything? honestly: perfectionism, all-or-nothing, OCD and procrastination SUCK. pardon my french, but they suck the big moose c*ck.

{ 4 comments… add one }
  • Alice in Wonderbread August 25, 2006, 2:00 am

    Oh Nattie you’re halfway there! Which is further than a lot of folks suffering perfectionism can get (listen to me, the one who screamed at the top of her lungs to her therapist seven years ago: “HOW CAN YOU THINK I’M A PERFECTIONIST WHEN I NEVER EVER DO ANYTHING PERFECTLY!?!?” (the therapist couldn’t help but laugh and at the time I failed to see the humor through my own self hatred).

    Go the other half. You recognize it. That it’s OK to do some but not all. Just do it! Try with a little someothing that won’t make you crazy and over time, with practice you’ll be able to half ass things like I do all the time now (hee hee). Seriously though- you’re almost to the other side and frankly, I bet you’re already there in ways you just haven’t recognized yet. 🙂

  • Alice in Wonderbread August 26, 2006, 4:31 am

    hee hee- for example, I misspelled ‘something’. HA! Social suicide for a writer to spell something wrong! Who gives a moose c@ck? lol. 🙂

  • ~nattie~ August 27, 2006, 2:54 am

    don’t you hate it that we can’t edit our comments??? LOL

  • Gabbie August 28, 2006, 8:59 pm

    How was SCRABBLE last night???

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